As I approach 90 days, I'm just beginning to get my spiritual feet under me. However, slowly, but surely, my conscious awareness of a higher power working in my life is growing. My emotions are starting to come under control, I have less fluctuation in them then I had two months ago. I think this is because I'm becoming more alert to my thought processes.
I learned that feelings are preceded by a thought, usually a false assumption, or negative belief that I've harbored for God only knows how long. The key is to challenge such thoughts. Say, for instance I think to myself, "Since she's gone, I'll never find anyone to love me!" Is this true? My experience tells me it isn't. Sure, I'm gonna experience feelings of loss, but I've always bounced back, eventually to find someone new to share my love with.
This is my life, everyday, continually battling thoughts that usually aren't based in reality. Fear based, thoughts that have the power to cripple me. Gratefully, I'm getting better at challenging these thoughts. It's a never ending exercise! I'm truly beginning to see that I suffer from a "thinking" disease. I'm learning to "walk" again...
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