Again...

39 days ago I came out of the haze of a six day binge that can only be described as a living Hell...
I ended up in detox for six days, then went to Maryland for rehab at Father Martin's Ashley for 28 days. Now I'm faced with the reality of my situation. I lost the love of someone that I still love dearly, worst yet I lost what little self-esteem I had from my last recovery from my last relapse.

It's been a real struggle trying to stay sober since I first relapsed after two years of sobriety last October. I've relapsed three times in the past year, and been to two rehabs in the last eight months. I find it gets harder every time. I'm really struggling with the loss of my relationship. Especially, since I'm solely responsible for its demise. But I realize that I have to do this for myself if I'm to stay alive and make some sort of happiness and satisfaction of what time I have left in this world. I'm trying to find out who I am and what my purpose is in this life. I firmly believe there is a reason I'm still here. What that is I'm not sure, but I'm gonna fight like Hell to find out why and what for! If you believe in the power of prayer, please say one for me. I need all the help I can get.