Contentment

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.  -Epicurus

I'm thinking about how good my life really is as I ride the Metra back into the city after visiting my sister and her family.

Four months ago my situation was not pretty. Lost at the bottom of a whisky bottle, oblivion was all I knew.  Yet, today I'm free of that obsession. I nearly threw it all away.  Today it behooves me to remember that all that I have is a gift.

Days like today are especially precious. I woke up sober. Clear headed and able to focus on the day ahead. I was able to show up to a meeting, have breakfast with my sponsor, and hear the things that help me stay on the beam. Then I was able to go to the burbs, spend time with family and enjoy their company. Both of my nieces are going out into the world via the US Navy. I might not get the chance to spend time with them along with the rest of my sister's family again. So I'm very grateful I got to be present today.  Three months ago, I wasn't in the same position...

So, when I fret over the things I don't have, I'm really not being grateful. For what I have today is more than enough. I was sure at one point that I'd lost all of my relationships. Thankfully, that isn't the case. I did lose one important one, but I'm beginning to see that maybe it was what was needed for me to get serious about my recovery. Yes, I miss that person a great deal. But if losing them is what gets me to stay sober, then maybe it is a blessing...

Today I have a sense of contentment. And for that, I'm grateful.