Day 46: The past couple of days have gone better. I'm a little more at peace with the changes that have recently happened in my life. But my heart is still broken. It will take time for that to pass...
I know that no matter what, I have to stay sober. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. And nothing good will happen if I don't work on me. Finding what it is that keeps me from asking for help when I really need it will be key. I know that going to a lot of meetings and reaching out to other men in recovery is paramount. I've been on the phone a lot, and checking in with my sponsor daily. None of which I'm writing about is news to me. It's the practice of it that I have had trouble with in the past. There is one thing beyond not taking a drink that will help me stay sober. It's called doing the next right thing.
What is the next right thing? It can be as simple as doing my dishes or making my bed. Or it can be reaching out to another suffering alcoholic. I've been keeping a journal of my days and accessing my activities at the end of my day. Sort of a 10th Step. I'm able to see where I did the next right thing, and when I didn't. It's been helpful. Just seeing that I'm doing a few things right keeps me from beating up on myself. And when I fall short, I just ask for God's help in making the changes the next day. So far it's been working. I'm trying to make this a habit. A mini inventory can reveal a lot!
I'm still struggling with getting up right away in the morning. I'm hoping this will get easier as time passes. I've found running in the afternoon helps me clear my mind. I'm gonna try to start doing it in the morning instead, it'll probably be easier to do so once the running gets easier. I'm just back to running three miles at a time. My past experience with running tells me that once I've done it for a couple of weeks, it becomes a part of me, and then I look forward to doing it!
It's about action, and keeping the momentum going forward.
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